Once An Alien Read online

  ‘I’ve got to go,’ I said. As I scrambled to my feet, I felt his hand on my arm.

  ‘No, wait.’

  I shook my head and pushed his hand off. I needed to get out of there before the tears started to fall and the sob inside me escaped.

  I watched Zoe move away, her head down and shoulders hunched. She was hurt, I knew it, and I was to blame. I jumped up to follow her. ‘Thanks a lot, Pandora,’ I said, looking down at her.

  ‘You should have told her you were going to that party. Don’t blame me. That’s on you,’ Pandora said and gave a shrug. Kerri just looked at us, slightly bewildered.

  ‘I intended to,’ I said, realising how lame my words sounded. I was at fault here. I knew I should have told Zoe about my plan, but it didn’t stop me feeling annoyed with Pandora. ‘Not that it’s any of your business. Why did you even come here?’ Before she had time to reply, I left to find Zoe.

  I couldn’t see her anywhere. She might have already gone to her class, but I had a feeling she’d disappeared into the girls’ restrooms, probably to cry. That didn’t make me feel good. There was no way I wanted to hurt her, and she certainly had nothing to worry about when it came to Pandora. I wished for about the hundredth time that Pandora hadn’t materialised right here, right now. Why couldn’t her host have lived a few more years?

  She had come here without permission, and she couldn’t care less it seemed. I had a sinking feeling that things were going to get a lot worse before I saw the last of Pandora.

  Zoe wasn’t in any of my classes for the rest of the day, and she didn’t answer any of my texts to her. I waited by the school gate for her after school. She came out, arm in arm with Lou.

  ‘Zoe,’ I said, ‘I need to talk to you.’

  She looked at me, her face expressionless. Lou, on the other hand, frowned at me, and I knew Zoe had told her what had happened.

  ‘I can’t stop now, Rion. I’m going home with Lou, and her mum is waiting for us in the car.’

  ‘Can’t you give me a minute?’

  ‘Sorry. Gotta go. But I’m sure Pandora would be delighted to talk to you.’

  She and Lou walked away. Lou looked back and shook her head.

  I tried to call and text, but Zoe just didn’t answer. In all my years solving the problems of the universe and being with hosts whose IQs were among the highest on the planet, I had never felt so helpless and frustrated. How could a sixteen-year-old girl do that to me? And yet she did.

  I could see how it looked. I’d told her I was staying home. I hadn’t said anything about the party. Bad decision. I saw it now—too late. I hadn’t wanted to involve her because I thought it was better for me to do it alone. Still, I wondered now if that was the only reason.

  Pandora’s words came back to haunt me. Once an alien… Did I want to reconnect with one of my own people? Was I missing that part of me that used to be alien, and probably still was? I didn’t regret my decision to become human. Yet seeing Pandora reminded me again of what I had given up. Was there a small part of me that regretted that decision?

  That night I turned off the light and looked out my bedroom window, gazing up at the night sky. I picked out the Orion constellation and found the star that was closest to my home, a home I hadn’t seen in nearly 4000 years. If I had that choice again, would I have joined the space program on our planet, given up my organic body and life there to become a bodiless, intelligent entity that inhabited hosts in order to further our knowledge of the universe?

  Once I wouldn’t have hesitated to answer that question in the affirmative. But now… If I had stayed, I wouldn’t be an alien because I would be home. I would have belonged. Now I wondered if I would ever belong here or anywhere else again.

  I loved Zoe, but was it enough? Was I enough for her? She knew who I was, and she had, I thought, accepted it. But now that Pandora was here, maybe she was having second thoughts. Perhaps she saw me for what I was, an alien, and maybe she didn’t like it.

  I gave one last glance to the night sky and then went to lie down on my bed. I had a lot of questions, but tonight I didn’t have the answers. And, for the first time, I wondered if I’d been right in my decision to stay here on this planet and give up all that I’d been.

  Chapter Ten

  I can’t believe Rion would lie to you,’ Lou said again. ‘It’s just not like him.’

  I leaned against her bed and put the bottle of nail polish next to me on the floor. In order to cheer me up, Lou suggested we paint each other’s toe nails. But it hadn’t helped. ‘He admitted it, to my face. And Pandora looked so… ugh,’ I let out an exclamation of anger and frustration. ‘She wants every boy in year twelve to fall at her feet, and she’s succeeding too. So much for her wanting to be my friend.’

  Lou stretched out her legs and wiggled her scarlet toes to dry. Her forehead creased into a frown. ‘I know. Harry never even gave me a second look once she arrived on the scene on Saturday. That’s when I decided I’d just give up on him. He’s had a massive crush on you for years, and finally now he’s over that, I thought I might have a chance. But then Pandora came along, and now he has a crush on her. If he can’t value me, I’m not going to wait around.’

  ‘Good for you, Lou,’ I said. ‘Harry must be blind. You’re worth ten of Pandora.’

  ‘Thanks, but I don’t care anymore. I’ve decided to move on. Mike’s been talking to me off and on, so when he asked me to have lunch with him, I thought, why not? And you know what? He’s actually really nice. We’re going out on Friday.’

  I sat up and smiled at her. ‘That’s great news, Lou. I’m so happy for you. I’ve never actually spoken much to Mike, but if you say he’s okay, that’s good enough for me.’

  Lou had made a lot of progress this year. She had been one of the shyest people I’d ever known, and I’m sure, up till recently, Harry was the only boy she had ever spoken to. But now, she’d come out of her shell. We’d been friends, but not close. Then, last term, I’d helped her work out what to wear when our class went on an excursion to see Macbeth. I’d also given her a few tips on make-up and how to style her hair. I wasn’t an expert or anything, but Lou was naturally pretty, and suddenly she realised it. Her increased self-confidence helped too.

  Today, I realised she’d become a close friend. She’d been so kind to me when she heard what happened with Rion and said I should come home with her. I was glad to have an excuse not to deal with him. I needed time to process what had happened. Perhaps I’d be able to listen to him tomorrow, but just not tonight.

  ‘Pass the bottle over here,’ Lou said, ‘and I’ll do your toes now.’

  I leaned over and handed the nail polish to her. The colour was Red Fire, an appropriate colour choice for the way I was feeling right now. But I was glad anger was starting to replace the hole Rion’s betrayal left inside me. I stretched out my foot and closed my eyes as Lou started to paint my toes.

  ‘I’ve never really been into video or computer games,’ she said. I felt the soft touch of the brush and let myself relax. ‘Or any games at all.’

  ‘Me either.’

  ‘But Mike makes it sound so interesting. He says it’s like being in a movie, playing a part. And some of the storylines are really exciting. He’s going to take me to a new retro gaming arcade and show me how to play some games on Friday.’

  ‘That sounds like fun.’ I remembered my first date with Rion when he took me to a bowling alley. At first, I thought it was the lamest thing in the world, but we actually had a lot of fun. When we went home, we had our first kiss. I felt the moisture welling in my eyes again. I had to think of something else quickly. ‘So, what sort of games does he play?’

  ‘Everything just about. He showed me one on his phone today, and it was kind of awesome. I had a go, and he said I wasn’t too bad for a beginner. He’s really into Fortnite at the moment. Okay, next foot please.’

  Opening my eyes, I transferred my other foot to her lap.

  ‘I’ve only got one proble
m,’ she said as she started to apply the polish.

  ‘What’s that?’ It couldn’t be what to wear anymore, since she had just bought a ton of clothes.

  ‘Telling Mum. It wouldn’t be such a problem if I was going out with Harry because she knows him and his mum. But Mike? She doesn’t know him, and she’s bound to ask a million questions.’

  Lou’s mum was nice, but she was strict, and she didn’t seem to realise that Lou was sixteen.

  ‘But won’t she be glad you’re making new friends? You know that’s one of the reasons she put you into all those sports you used to do.’ I tried to be positive.

  ‘Girls maybe, but she’s stricter when it comes to boys. She wouldn’t let my sister date until she finished high school. There,’ she put my foot down on the floor, ‘you’re done. Now you have to let them dry off.’

  ‘You’ll just have to think of all the good things about him. He’s quiet, I think he does all right in school, and—’ I searched for something else to say. ‘—I don’t think he’s ever been suspended.’

  Lou laughed. ‘I don’t think that’s much of a point in his favour. Mum probably wouldn’t let any kid who’s been suspended into the house, let alone allow me to go out with him.’

  ‘You’ll think of something.’

  ‘And she’d have kittens if she knew we were going to a gaming arcade,’ Lou added as she screwed the lid on the nail polish bottle.

  ‘I suppose it wouldn’t be right not to tell her where you were going?’ I said, just a little hesitantly. Lou was mega honest.

  She screwed up her nose as she thought for a moment. ‘I don’t know. Maybe I could say I’m going to watch a game or something. I don’t have to tell her what game. Mike has his licence, so he’s going to pick me up. Oh no. That’s another thing she’s not going to like. She’ll be worried he’s going to have an accident or something. She’ll never let me go out. I’ll be forty or something before she decides I can date.’

  ‘Don’t stress. You’ll think of some way to persuade her.’

  ‘I guess.’ Lou seemed doubtful.

  It was my turn to cheer her up. ‘Come on. Let’s make milkshakes. Did I tell you I’m the best milkshake maker in Brisbane—no, make that Australia—no, the world!’

  ‘I think we can do better than that.’ Lou’s voice dropped.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Mum and Dad had a barbecue for Uncle Carl’s fortieth birthday last weekend. There’s still five or six bottles of bubbly left in the second fridge in the garage. Want to try some?’

  ‘Won’t they miss it?’ Tempting as Lou’s offer was, I didn’t want her to get in trouble.

  She shrugged. ‘I don’t think so. They won’t miss one, because a lot of people brought stuff, and they didn’t keep track.’

  ‘Well…’ It had been a while since I’d taken a sneaky glass of wine — Rion was just that good an influence on me. But now, I wasn’t too fussed about what Rion thought at all. ‘Sure, why not?’

  A few minutes later, she was back with a bottle of bubbly. She took two plastic cups off the top of the bottle, and handed them to me. Then, she sat down next to me, and popped the cork. The wine bubbled over the top and onto the carpet. We started to laugh.

  ‘Shhh,’ Lou said, between giggles. ‘Mum might hear.’

  ‘You mean after that explosive cork pop?’

  We started to laugh again. Lou filled our glasses to the very top.

  I took a long swig and then looked down at my newly painted toes, admiring their fiery brightness.

  ‘Boys,’ I said, as I lowered my glass. ‘Who needs them?’

  Lou gave me a sympathetic look. ‘So over-rated.’

  ‘Sisters before misters,’ I added.

  We clinked our glasses together and more wine slopped onto the carpet.

  We giggled again, and I thought that maybe this day wasn’t turning out so badly after all.

  Later, as I walked home, depression (not to mention the beginning of a headache) hit me again like a brick from a ten-storey building. Rion and I had had our ups and downs, but this was something else. Our relationship had been built on trust, and now that had suddenly been broken. I wondered if I would ever entirely trust him again.

  Mum and Dad were sitting in the lounge when I got home, not ultra unusual except that Dad was home a little earlier than normal, and I couldn’t smell dinner cooking. Maybe we were having takeaway? My spirits lifted. Not having to eat one of Mum’s overcooked meals, or one of Dad’s repertoire of three recipes was a relief.

  ‘Zoe,’ Mum called, ‘come in and sit down.’

  I plopped down on the saggy armchair, and looked over at my parents, sitting on the couch. As parents went, they were pretty good, and surprisingly, we got on well. I just hoped they wouldn’t guess I’d had a glass or two of wine. That might test their good natures. I tried to sit up and look normal.

  ‘So, are we going out to dinner then?’ I said, just putting that idea in their minds in case they hadn’t thought of it. ‘After all, you have been a bit tired lately, Mum.’

  Dad covered her hand with his, and Mum gave me a smile that was trying to be bright but somehow failed. Her eyes seemed less blue, and I suddenly noticed fine lines at the corners of them. When had that happened? But more than that, I was getting a weird vibe from them. Something was going on.

  ‘What’s up?’

  Mum gave a small sigh, and Dad’s hand tightened around hers. ‘You’re right, I have been feeling off lately, and so I decided to check it out, just to be sure. You see, I have a small lump in my breast.’

  ‘What? Why didn’t you tell me?’ I felt a cold, creeping dread inside me.

  ‘I didn’t want to worry you. Quite often, it’s nothing, and I just wanted to find out before I was sure.’

  ‘Sure of what?’ I could hardly get the words out.

  ‘It seems the lump might be not just be a cyst,’ Mum said. ‘I have to get another test to be sure.’

  I heard my mother’s words, and yet they made no sense. Surely nothing could be wrong with Mum? This wasn’t happening. Any moment now I would wake up and realise it wasn’t real.

  ‘Zoe, are you okay?’ My mother’s voice was anxious.

  I looked at her face, her tired blue eyes staring into mine, and I realised she was more worried about me than herself. I made an effort to answer her. ‘Could it be cancer?’ The word itself was hard to say.

  She bit her lips, then forced them into a smile. ‘Probably not. No need to panic. I mean, I’ve been tired, but that’s more a symptom of teaching, not breast cancer.’ She tried to laugh. Then she added, ‘I’m going to have a small op just to be sure.’

  ‘An operation? Can’t the doctor just do a test or something?’ An operation sounded serious, as if Mum really had this horrible disease.

  ‘He’s done a biopsy, but it wasn’t conclusive, and so now he wants to do an open biopsy just to make sure. It’s just a day procedure. You know Gran had breast cancer a few years ago and so did my Aunt Hilda. So, it appears I’m in a high-risk group. But Gran survived. Look how healthy she is now.’

  ‘And still bossing everyone around,’ Dad said in a lame attempt to make a joke.

  I forced the lump in my throat down and looked down at my hands, which I realised were clenched tightly in my lap. I forced myself to look back at Mum.

  ‘You’ll be all right, Mum, won’t you?’ Suddenly I felt like I was five years old again and still afraid of the dark, but this time it wasn’t the dark I was scared about.

  Mum came over to my chair and knelt down next to me, giving me a hug. ‘Of course I will. It’s just a precaution to make sure everything is all right. And you know what, I think a takeout is a great idea. Let’s have Thai.’

  Mum’s news sobered me more quickly than a cold shower and a cup of coffee. Nothing would happen to her, I told myself. I wouldn’t let it.

  That night, while I was in bed, trying to sleep, Rion called. This time I picked up.

&
nbsp; ‘Zoe,’ his voice was relieved, ‘at last. I’m so sorry about lying to you…’

  Besides my parents, Rion was the person I felt closest to, and I didn’t want to let go of any of the people I cared about because of a stupid misunderstanding. So I said, ‘I should have listened to you, but I was too upset. So, tell me now.’

  ‘I’ve been an idiot. I’ve been so worried about Pandora getting into trouble, that I decided to go to Jas’s party to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid.’

  ‘And did she?’

  ‘Don’t get me started. She was reckless, drunk, and totally unconcerned about any consequences of her actions. Remember when Archimedes came to your place for dinner and how he acted? Well, times that by ten and that was Pandora.’

  ‘Oh dear, that bad, huh? Well, at least you were there to step in.’

  ‘Unfortunately, it didn’t do any good. And, Zoe, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to have to put up with her nonsense. I didn’t want to involve you in our ridiculous alien business. But it was the wrong decision. I should have told you, and I’m sorry.’

  ‘Yes, you should have, but it’s over now.’

  ‘So, we’re good then?’

  ‘Yeah, we’re good.’ Now that he explained it, I got it. I realised too that I had let my insecurities about Pandora get the better of me. I knew deep down that Rion would never betray me. ‘But, Rion, you’re wrong about something else too. I’m already involved in your “alien” business, because I’m involved with you.’

  ‘Zoe?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘I’d like to kiss you now. I wish I was there with you. I’ve missed you.’

  ‘Since lunch?’ I forced a laugh.

  ‘Seemed much longer. I hated that you wouldn’t talk to me. I’m not saying I didn’t deserve it.’

  ‘Yeah, well, as I said, it doesn’t matter now.’ My voice trailed off. Now there was something much more important to worry about.